we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
