I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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