It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize