another moral hangover. fuck.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
