After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
