Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
