she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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