your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
