My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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