and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
