What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
