Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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