if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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