its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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