I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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