I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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