I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
