What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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