i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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