1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize