I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize