you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
