He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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