so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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