I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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