so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
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