Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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