Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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