I'm really into asian looking animals
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
