We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
