About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize