Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
