I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
