There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
