I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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