her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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