I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
