those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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