my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
