yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
