Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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