You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
