Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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