Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
meet me or not, i'm out of control
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize