I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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