but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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