I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize