I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
