Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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