Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
