Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
