mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
