erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
