you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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