I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
