Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
