Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
