I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize