Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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