And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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