When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
