I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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