Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
