I skipped work to stalk him.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
